Understanding
Anxiety Management 2
by
Stuart Sorensen – RMN
I
think, therefore I am.
And
all that I am is dictated by my thoughts.
Thought
breeds opinion, opinion belief.
Belief
engenders attitude
And
attitude, behavior.
Therefore
in order to live well
A
man must first strive to think well.
His
thoughts must be as a strong fortress
To
withstand the onslaught of derision and dogma
And
yet welcoming enough to admit the arguments of reason.
Thought
must be fluid and well conceived,
It
must not be fixed and yet its’ foundations must be secure.
And
thought belongs to us all.
In
this, the second anxiety management handout, we will consider the
psychological or cognitive symptoms of anxiety. Although
it isn’t possible to cover all the cognitive aspects of anxiety
in such a short document this should help you gain some understanding
of the thoughts which give rise to anxiety (anxiogenic thoughts).
Before
we begin to study the thoughts themselves it’s worth spending a
little time thinking about the nature of thought itself and the
effect thought has upon behavior. Actually psychologists believe
that thoughts are a form of behavior themselves. They can be described
as mental behaviors and as we all know behaviors can be changed.
The
idea of thought as behavior is central to anxiety management. It
is through taking control of and changing our thinking style that
we develop the skills we need to cope with our worries. In the end
it comes down to personal choice. We can choose which thoughts to
accept and work with and which thoughts we’d rather ignore. This,
in essence, is the cognitive basis of anxiety management.
Actually
everyone already chooses their beliefs, no matter how unlikely or
unsupportable they may be. That’s how we protect our Ego and self-esteem.
That’s why two perfectly reasonable and intelligent people can draw
completely different conclusions from the same evidence. Political
differences or religious beliefs are classic examples of this ability
we all have to choose what we want to believe. Sometimes
we become so entrenched in our opinions that we actually choose
to ignore every piece of evidence that doesn’t fit in with our preconceived
notions about ‘reality’. At the same time we emphasize the evidence
that does fit. Psychologists call this selective abstraction,
without which inappropriate anxiety would arguably be impossible.
Nevertheless
many people find it very difficult to accept the idea that we can
choose what to believe. If you’re one of these people – and you’re
not alone – please bear with me. By the end of this handout you’ll
not only be convinced but also you’ll have learned a tried and tested
formula with which to consciously decide upon anxiety beating beliefs
instead of anxiety creating ones. All you have to do is read on
with an open mind.
What
follows is a series of statements or beliefs which either create
or destroy anxiety. Each is followed by a short summary of its’
effect upon anxiety and, where appropriate an alternative belief
is suggested. Please bear in mind that people usually decide what
they want to believe first and then look for evidence to support
it afterwards. That’s why lovers can do no wrong in each other’s
eyes and the actions of enemies are generally considered to be malicious.
It’s that old process of ‘selective abstraction’ again. Why not
use the system to your advantage by making it conscious (within
your control) instead of unconscious.
STATEMENTS
AFFECTING ANXIETY
- I
can predict the future
Most
people deny holding this belief absolutely. They think of fortune
telling as the realm of cranks and weirdoes. However many people
spend their entire lives worrying about future predictions they
have made which never come true. They have wrongly predicted the
future with such conviction that they ruin any chance they may
have had of finding peace of mind. Think about the things that
have worried you over the years. The things you got most worked
up about? How many of them actually came true no matter how convinced
you were that they would? Anxiety is almost always based upon
unconscious fortune telling.
A
more helpful belief may be:
I
can make an educated guess – a projection about what is likely
to happen and then make plans to avoid catastrophe. Then I can
stop worrying about it.
- If
I think it then it has to be true.
Once
again most people deny holding this belief. On a conscious, rational
level they know that thoughts are only thoughts. Unconsciously
however anxious people become so convinced of the ‘truth’ of their
thoughts that they stop being able to rationalize at all. If the
thought in question is ‘fortune telling’ as discussed above then
they really are setting themselves up for a fall.
A
more helpful belief may be:
I
can measure my thoughts objectively against the evidence and decide
whether to accept or reject them. I don’t have to believe everything
I consider.
- It
is unbearable when things go wrong.
This
is called catastrophic thinking and it’s one of the fastest
ways there is to destroy your peace of mind. After all, let’s
fact it, things go wrong on a very regular basis. If you hold
this belief then of course you’re going to worry. You may be very
objective in your assessment of the situation – the fact that
things do often go wrong – but the way you interpret that
likelihood will give rise to anxiety. It’s important to get things
into perspective.
A
more helpful belief may be:
Things
often don’t turn out the way I’d like them to. However it’s the
little adversities in life that help me grow. Problems can be
used to make me better – not bitter. I’m a resourceful human being
with the ability to deal with most things so long as I think clearly
about the problem and keep my anxiogenic thoughts under control.
- It’s
a good idea to avoid stressful situations.
Most
people are surprised to learn that avoiding stress is one of the
worst things we can do. Anxiety management is a skill and it takes
practice. If we avoid stress we miss out on the practice and so
we never learn to deal with it. What’s worse, we actually lose
the coping skills we already have and so, over time we become
more and more anxious.
A
more helpful belief may be:
Life
is full of stress but this can be overcome by thinking about it
logically and taking positive action to change things for the
better.
- I
have to be in control to be safe.
This
belief is not only wrong it’s dangerous. Total control is impossible
for anyone to achieve. There are always too many possibilities,
too many things which may go wrong. If your peace of mind depends
upon control you’ll never stop worrying.
A
more helpful belief may be:
I
can control my own actions and responses to the world. That’s
as much as anyone can ever do. It’s enough because if I can control
myself (and my thoughts) I can survive and actually grow from
just about anything.
- I
can change things which cannot be changed.
Unless
you’re superhuman you can’t. Remember that anxiety is part of
our natural defense mechanism. It’s a call to action. It alerts
us to the fact that something is wrong and gives us the opportunity
to change it. It has no place in situations which cannot be
changed. Nevertheless how many of us worry about things which
happened in the past for example – things which can never be
changed. If you worry about past events instead of planning
to overcome future problems you’re not only wasting your time
you’re destroying your quality of life and, on one level at
least, asking the impossible of yourself – to change what cannot
be changed.
A
more helpful belief may be:
There
are some things which I cannot change. It’s better to concentrate
upon what I can achieve instead of worrying pointlessly about
the things I cannot. To put it another way:
God
grant me the serenity to accept the things which cannot be changed;
The courage to change the things which can be changed and the
wisdom to know the difference.
Of
course this has been no more than a taster and there are many more
cognitive aspects to anxiety. If you’ve found this information of
use you may well benefit from counseling or a course in anxiety
management. Whether you go on to learn more or not I hope you’ve
enjoyed what we’ve covered here. Remember – you are responsible
for your own quality of life. What are you going to do about it?
RECOMMENDED
READING
Lyttle
J. (1986)
Mental
Disorder
Balliere
Tindall
London
Chapter
16
Mills
I (1990) in:
Dryden
W. & Scott M. (1990)
An
Introduction To Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
Gale
Centre Publications
Loughton
Chapter
3
Compliments
of Stuart Sorensen – RMN
