Q. Hi! Thank you for allowing me to ask a question! I am my husband's third wife. The first two did not stick around longer than one year and I will never know the "real" reasons I am sure. He needs constant attention from me by babbling in the background, talking in third person about me in another room to nobody, talking in the background when I am on the phone making appts. etc. Now that my girls are pre-teens he finds it very difficult to nurture them, etc. He constantly is name-calling on the end of every sentence....not shy about blurting idiot to our 13 year old at any given time. Our sexual intimacy is non-existent and he is unable to speak with me seriously or compliment me without being negative or immature acting. We have seen a therapist three times and he has stopped making appointments. She wants him to take a battery of tests. He does babble to himself often and plays with these small ball chains (from key chains) when he is alone. Do you THINK it could be BPD with narcissism? He seems to be somewhat angry all the time but NEVER around other people or in a social function. Thank you giving this your time.

A. Given your description, it sounds as if testing would be very helpful in clarifying the diagnosis. It is very difficult to say if he meets criteria for bpd since many of his behaviors/symptoms are consistent with a number of mental illnesses. The behaviors you described can be very disruptive and difficult for a family to endure. Therefore, it may be necessary to either strongly encourage or insist upon him completing testing and staying in treatment.