Q. I was involved with a lady that I most definitely believe is borderline. She is very manipulative and controlling and fits the personality to the tee. I have read "stop walking on eggshells" and it was scary how similar my life was to the reading...... enough of that. 

She has accused me of violence against her when she was the one that was abusive towards me, false accusations, police reports etc. My concern isn't about me this time, one of her recent boyfriends has contacted me and she has done the same to him now, he seems sincere and seems to be a nice man. She is 30 and he is 23.... I have helped him to over come the emotional stress that she has placed on him but now he has to hire an attorney to defend himself. What I would like to know is if there is any suggestions that you have that may help him to defend himself. 

She has not been diagnosed as BPD but has been as bi polar. it was by our co parenting doctor (we have a 3 1/2 year old). I feel that he needs support in this, she seems to manipulate the system too easily and gets away with it. 

About two years ago she jumped at my moving car and claimed I tried to run her over and had me put in jail, I was released with no charges, other boyfriends have called me and told me that she was violent with them and has threatened them with their guns (both police officers)...ok I'm not sure how much time you have free so I will stop there, if you have any suggestions on how to help my new friend to defend himself?

A. I'm sorry but I really don't have the background and expertise to suggest any legal strategies to defend himself. I've never been very supportive of using people's illnesses (whether they be physical or mental) against them in trials. Your best bet is to locate an attorney with expertise in the legal arena that your friend feels he needs to defend himself in. Sorry for the challenging situation.