“Malignant Self Love” was written under extreme
conditions of duress. It was composed in jail as I was trying
to understand what had hit me. My nine year old marriage dissolved,
my finances were in a shocking condition, my family estranged,
my reputation ruined, my personal freedom severely curtailed.
Slowly, the realization that it was all my fault, that I was sick
and needed help penetrated the decades old defenses that I erected
around me. This book is the documentation of a road of self discovery.
It was a painful process, which led to nowhere. I am no different
– and no healthier – today than when I wrote this book. My disorder
is here to stay, the prognosis is poor and alarming. The book
is divided to three parts:
“Malignant
Self Love – Narcissism Revisited” is the core text. The narcissist
is an actor enacting a monodrama, yet forced to remain behind
the scenes. The scenes take center stage, instead. The Narcissist
does not cater at all to his own needs. Contrary to his reputation,
the Narcissist does not "love" himself in any true sense of this
loaded word. He feeds off other people, who hurl back at him an
image that he projects to them. This is their sole function in
his world: to reflect, to admire, to applaud, to detest - in a
word, to assure him that he exists.
Otherwise,
they have no right to tax his time, energy, or emotions - so he
feels. The Narcissist's ego is weak and lacks clear borders. Many
of the ego functions are projected. The Superego is sadistic and
punishing. The Id is unrestrained. Primary objects in the Narcissist's
childhood were badly idealised and internalised. His object relations
are distraught and destroyed.
The
main body of research about Narcissism is surveyed.
"Malignant
Self Love - Narcissism Re-Visited" offers a detailed, first hand
account of what it is like to have a Narcissistic Personality
Disorder. It offers new insights and an organised methodological
framework using a new psychodynamic language.
Narcissism
is a slippery subject: only with great difficulty can it be captured
with words. A new vocabulary had to be invented to account for
the myriad of facets and appearances - false and true - of this
disease. Thus, the first part of this book requires some understanding
of the psychoanalytic terminology and is full with my own suggested
contributions to it.
“Malignant
Self Love - Narcissism Re-visited” contains the following chapters:
Introduction: The Soul of a Narcissist - the State of the Art
Chapter One: Being Special
Chapter Two: Uniqueness and Intimacy
Chapter Three: The Workings of a Narcissist - a Phenomenology
Chapter Four: The tortured Self - the Inner World of the narcissist
Chapter Five: The Narcissist and the opposite sex
Chapter Six: The Concept of Narcissistic Supply
Chapter Seven: The Concepts of Narcissistic Accumulation and Narcissistic
Regulation
Chapter Eight: The Emotional Involvement Preventive Measures
Chapter Nine: Loss of Control of Grandiosity
The
second part of the book is more accessible and less jargon-laden.
It comprises almost 60 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) regarding
Narcissism and personality disorders. The posting “Malignant Self
Love – Narcissism Revisited” on the Web has elicited a flood of
excited, sad and heart rending responses, mostly from victims
of Narcissists but also from people suffering from the NPD. This
is a true picture of the resulting correspondence with them. Finally,
Narcissism is a phenomenon, which affected society and culture
in profound ways. The third part contains appendices that deal
with various aspects and manifestations of Narcissism. In a way,
it represents philosophical, cultural and societal issues as perceived
by a person suffering from NPD (that is I). This is why it is
entitled: “The World as Viewed By the Narcissist”. This book is
heavy reading. It is not intended to please or to entertain. NPD
is a pernicious, vile and tortuous disease, which affects not
only the Narcissist. It infects and forever changes people who
are in daily contact with the Narcissist. In other words : it
is contagious. It is my contention that Narcissism is the mental
epidemy of the twentieth century, a plague to be fought by all
means.
This
book is my contribution to minimizing the damages of this disorder.
Sam
Vaknin is the author of "Malignant
Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" and "After
the Rain - How the West Lost the East".
He is a columnist in "Central Europe Review", United
Press International
(UPI) and InternetContent.net and the editor of mental health
and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory, Suite101,
Go.com and searcheurope.com.
He is the Economic Advisor to the Government of Macedonia.
His web site: http://samvak.tripod.com