Ask the Therapist
Compulsive Lying and BPD
My husband has BPD. I love him very much but he lies constantly about everything. I have to ask him 3 or 4 times to get the truth and then I am not even sure if that is the truth. His ex girlfriend, who hates me, says that he cheated on me with her. My husband denies this and then he admitted it and then he
denied it again. He swears that it did not happen and I am unsure about what to do. Is it normal for people with BPD to lie about everything?? Can I ever trust him?? Please help me, because I do not know what to do.
Compulsive lying is not necessarily an indicator of BPD, although BPs do tend to lie a great deal in their effort to manipulate. What I can tell you is "tigers have stripes" -- if your husband has been inconsistent in the past, it is likely that behavior will continue in the future. The real question for you is trust and you need to ask yourself if you choose to volunteer to be in relationship to someone whom you fundamentally can't trust. The issue is not his lying, but your self-respect.
