Ask the Therapist
Ex Boyfriend
I have a ex-boyfriend that I strongly
feel has BPD. He secretly started seeing another guy behind my back which of
course broke us up. My ex-boyfriend has only dated this other guy on and off for
about 5 months and has now moved in with him. The two of them have started a
open marriage type relationship from the very start of living together. My
ex-boyfriends new boyfriend is a older "daddy type" guy who is letting
him live with him rent free because my ex-boyfriend may get laid off of his job
and is very worried about making it. With all the issues BPD's have especially
with abandoment is a open marriage a very good idea for someone with BPD to
have? I also was wondering if it is also a bad idea for someone with BPD to live
with someone in a "sugar daddy" type situation. With what I have read
I would think the BPD type person would eventually resent the "sugar
daddy" for taking care of them because the BPD person really wants to be
able to take care of themselves at some point in life. My ex-boyfriend said he
can't have a open marriage with me because he is in love with me and he is not
in love with his new boyfriend so that is why he wants a open realtionship with
his new partner. This has been so hard for me and I am trying to understand what
is happening. I am worried about my ex and am trying to be his friend and
support him.
The operative word here is "ex". Why, exactly, are you taking an interest in the choices of a man who left for someone else, after cheating on you with this same person? And why, exactly, are you entertaining putting yourself at grave personal risk through a relationship with built-in promiscuity? How does any of this serve you? Let it go.
