Borderline Personality Disorder
I am 41 years old, married 21 years,
with three children- 16 yr old daughter, 13 yr old daughter and 9 yr old
son. I am a Christian and have relied heavily on my faith to get me
through this dark period of my life. God has been faithful and although I
still find myself struggling at times, I know he is there to guide me.
I was diagnosed with BPD two years
ago. The diagnosis was not made known to me until just recently when I was
committed to the state hospital with severe clinical depression. In the
past two years I have been hospitalized five times in two separate private
psychiatric hospitals, and the emphasis was always placed on my
depression. The last hospitalization, a psychologist sat me down and very
frankly discussed the diagnosis of BPD with me- telling me that I would
never be able to overcome the symptoms, would have a very difficult time
finding a doctor willing to work with me due to the obnoxious nature of
the symptoms, and that the time I spent in the hospital was to be thought
of as a much needed time for my family away from me since I was, as a
borderline, so difficult to be around.
I should have been devastated by all
of this information that was thrust at me all at once- but during the
first two hospitalizations was taught a technique called Rational Emotive
Behavioral Therapy which taught me to take statements such as these and
change the negative reaction to a positive one. While this doctor was
talking I was thinking about how the information explained why I could not
stop the cycling in and out of the hospital. No one ever told me what this
diagnosis meant and about the symptoms it presented- that was the missing
piece of the puzzle! All this time the doctors have been discharging me
only "two-thirds of the way done." Now that I was aware of the
challenges this diagnosis brings, I had a chance to deal with them more
effectively. THANK GOODNESS I did NOT choose to believe that pdoc.
In reading all the books that I
could get my hands on and finding this site, I have learned that this is
an illness that CAN be overcome. I would like to help you by answering any
questions you may have about this disease. My e-mail address is: phil4-13@netdoor.com
